I like to celebrate February as the month of self-love..self-love must come first and foremost, whether we have an intimate partner or not. This idea of an Embodied Self-love practice is based on teaching from Master Zhenzan Dao, in his Daoist sexuality classes.
It's simple, but profound. What is this? The Embodied self-love practice is about touching yourself regularly with love and kindness. Through doing this, it becomes natural to appreciate your body more, and feel more sensual, sensitive and fully alive.
Daily, or a few times a week, touch your body like a caring friend or lover, using organic coconut or grapeseed oil. Depending on the time you’ve set aside, you can massage the whole body, just the face, or whichever places that want your touch the most, and don’t be shy to include your intimate areas.
Make it a ritual, use soft music or candles if you like. It doesn’t need to take long, most days it’s about 10 minutes for me, though sometimes I treat myself to a longer ‘session’. You can do this any time of day, though some people find it too stimulating at night. (I can share more with you about this practice privately so contact me with your questions)
How does this work? The body is literal—it translates being touched with love to “I am loved. My body is lovable, my life matters.” This is how infants form attachments--how we all learn to feel loved. Attachment research in psychology has proven--and we all know this instinctively--that only the infants that get touched will thrive and develop fully. Touch tells the infant it is loved.
This concept is the basis, in fact, of the “Self-Acceptance Repatterning” Resonance Repatterning session that I offer clients.
Why else is touch so profound? Touch feeds your parasympathetic nervous system, which in turn helps you relax, and feel more connected to yourself and to others. It will help you digest and sleep better, and feel more peaceful. From a Daoist point of view, self-touch, especially around our intimate areas, enlivens and reconnects us to our jing, the core creative and procreative energy that gave us the spark of life. Touching ourselves actually makes us more alive and more of who we truly are.
From concept to embodied reality, this practice generates an internal feeling of goodness, acceptance and pleasure. I have discovered that through Embodied Self-Love I can experience what I always longed to receive from a partner, whether he's in my life or not. This practice can be your key too, to being more fulfilled and free from any dependence on a partner or friends for approval and attention.
If you desire a new partner or a richer relationship with your current partner, Embodied self-love will help you come to your relationship full, rather than from lack or neediness. It will benefit you even if you are not in partnership or not wanting one, by freeing you to experience more love, pleasure and satisfaction.
It’s a great way to finally end that vain effort to fill a hollow place in yourself with water from another’s well, to liberate yourself from needing food, substances, entertainment, money, achievement or material goods to feel satisfied. Now THAT is abundance and true flourishing!
Experiment, let me know how it goes. I’m here for encouragement and guidance if you need it. Let the joy, pleasure and self-love begin.
Many blessings,
Ellen
PS Speaking of self-love, you are welcome to join me for a 21 Challenge and Joy Party of Productivity and Self-Love--Retrain your Brain the Celebrate progress. We begin 2/4 and registration stays open till 2/11. Retraining begins as soon as you sign up so why wait? More info at: http://bit.ly/1ymsi6v
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