Manifest Your Mate Session 3: Clearing Negative Beliefs/Examples from Our Parent’s Marriage
Intentions:
I discriminate between what is useful and positive from my parents’ example and what is de-energizing, outmoded and inappropriate. I chose that which is inspiring and life affirming.
I recognize that much of what my parents taught me is not appropriate for current day relationships and I open to a new paradigm for intimate relationship.
I am free to redefine and choose, in co-creation with my partner, the forms and patterns of relating that work for each of us, now.
Compensation Repatterning:
This Repatterning addresses compensation patterns that we developed, usually in childhood, to compensate or make up for the lack of love or positive attention that we experienced.
Compensation: Niceness
(non-coherent) Who I am is unacceptable
(coherent) People like and accept me when I am honest and genuinely myself with them
Compensation: Insecurity
(non-coherent) I have to hold onto my father’s attention/a man’s attention so he won’t leave me
(coherent) I feel secure even when there is silence in a conversation
Water Element Repatterning
This is one of the Relationship Repatternings and addresses imbalances in the water element. When our water element is out of balance we may be stuck, frozen, fearful and unable to access our own power and energy reserves.
What stops me from having the relationship I want is:
Believing I want too much/believing what I want doesn’t exist/ believing I can’t have what I want/ Negative expectations of relationships based on the past
I am afraid of being loved/commitment/not being worthy/disaster/metal
Non-coherent qualities of the water element blocking us:
I lack the energy to commit to what I want
I have low energy relationships based on control issues
Non-coherent earlier experience:
Age: 28 months/ involved parents/Something traumatic happens to one of my parents, or between them/big emotional shock in the family/I am not comforted or reassured
Feeling: Terrified
Unmet needs: Love bonding/Being heard/Self expression
Beliefs that resulted: I have to be good/I have to be quiet/I have to clamp down my feelings
Body position reflecting this: Hunched over, hands on belly, protecting belly
Feeling: Fear, dread
What is the new thing you can tell yourself about relationships?
I am open to new, fulfilling possibilities in relationship that far surpass my parents’ example or even my own past relationship history
Body position reflecting this: Open hearted, warrior stance
I live and relate from the power of my essence
Feelings: Optimistic/Encouraged
Acupuncture points done for you: Lg Intestine 11 (right side) while affirming “I joyfully release the past”
Relationship Modality for Water: Receiving Reassurance
From the Divine Mother: “You are perfect. I love you just as you are.”
From the Divine Father: “You are my beloved. I cherish and care for you always.”
Positive Actions:
This positive action is to be completed within the next week if possible. If you are overwhelmed or still working on previous positive actions, check in with yourself about doing this one now. What do you sense or feel intuitively, or in your gut about this one…I encourage you to follow that, and I can also test for you if you can’t get clear, as to whether these actions should be done now or later. I am testing that this particular set of positive actions may also be completed at the end of the 7 session series.
Step 1—this was previously provided, so if you’ve done it, move on to step 2. If not, go ahead now...
If you have photos of your parents, or if they are alive, just imagine them in your mind’s eye. What do you imagine were or are their beliefs about marriage and about the relationships between the sexes? What don’t you like, what upsets you, about how they related? What promises, vows or commitments did you make to yourself about relationships or marriage from being around your parent’s relationship?
Step 2: Ritual release: based on your explorations above, write down on small pieces of paper, what you want to release about your parent’s marriage. Then, when you are ready and in a ritual “space”, read these things out loud, and declare:
I now joyfully and completely release these beliefs, any pain or trauma these beliefs have caused, from my system, knowing they no longer serve me.
Continue with your ritual release by burning the pieces of paper safely, (Common sense: make sure anything you use to handle the fire won’t get too hot for you, and that you are not in a windy place or where the burning paper could fly off and start a fire, make sure there is ventilation, and that you’re away from flammables, smoke alarms, etc.). If this is not safe to do, or not feasible, you can tear the papers into small pieces and release them into the ocean or flush them away.
Things to Notice: As you complete the ritual, take a pause to notice. Breathe, relax your body and notice your sensations. Is there a sense of more relaxation, peace, safety, lightness and letting go? Take a pause to savor and enjoy, knowing you have made room for the new!
c)Optional additional positive action:
Is there anything positive that you have learned from your parents' example, or that your parents modeled, that you would like to keep and even build further on? What is their positive relationship legacy to you?
Session is complete.
Monday, July 18, 2011
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Manifest Your Mate - Session 2 Positive Actions
Manifest Your Mate –Your Homework of Positive Action from Session 2
a)This positive action is to be done just one time, within the next week. Take some time with this one. This contemplation is for you to explore, think about, and journal about, so you can come to completion with what has been hurtful or unresolved in your relationship with your mother.
The purpose is not to delve in-depth again into the painful history, but to see what the gold nuggets are that you have or can "mine" from that history.
Note: If this is something you have not done before, this may be a subject to explore for some time, beyond the time frame of this program and this one-time positive action. You may also want to bring this exploration to your private healing work with me or other practitioners you work with. For some of you, this may be a summary and recap..but always worth looking at. Here are the questions:
What is the truth, higher purpose or lesson that your mother provides or provided for you? What qualities have you developed in yourself as a result of that relationship? What did she teach you? Example: “My mother teaches me the importance of being loving and accepting of myself and others” “My mother teaches me the value of life and of treasuring each day”. She might have taught this by example or by an example of what NOT to do,be or say.
b)Things to Notice: During your interactions with people, and when you are alone, begin to notice whether your thoughts, attitudes and behaviors are loving to yourself. Is your self talk critical, or accepting and encouraging? How would you treat yourself differently if you could act like a very loving, attentive and and caring mother? Do you deflect or minimize praise and appreciation from others? How much more love, compliments, help, and other good stuff are you willing to take in from other people, and from yourself?
c)Action: Rampage of Appreciation…write down as many things about yourself that you enjoy and appreciate as you can, at least 6. Add to the list throughout the day.
Express out loud to someone else (or in writing) what you appreciate about them or something they did—2x per day. This one is to be done for the next 3 days..start when you read the notes.
d)Optional: Repeat Deservability Prayer daily for 7 days, best out loud, to another person or the mirror.
DESERVABILITY TREATMENT - a prayer from the Unity Church
I am deserving. I deserve all good. Not some, not a little bit, but all good. I now move past all negative restricting thoughts. I release and let go of the limitations of my parents. I love them and I go beyond them. I am not their negative opinion, not their limiting beliefs. I am not bound by any of the fears or prejudices of the current society I live in. I no longer identify with limitations of any kind.
In my mind I have total freedom. I now move into a new space of consciousness, where I am willing to see myself differently. I am willing to create new thoughts about myself and about my life. My new thinking becomes new experiences.
I now know and affirm that I am at one with the Prospering Power of the Universe. As such, I now prosper in a number of ways. The totality of possibilities lies before me. I deserve life, a good life. I deserve love, an abundance of love. I deserve good health. I deserve to live comfortably and to prosper. I deserve joy and happiness; I deserve freedom to be all that I can be. I deserve more than that. I deserve all good.
The Universe is more than willing to manifest my new beliefs. And I accept this abundant life with joy, pleasure and gratitude, for I am deserving. I accept it; I know it to be true.
And so it is.
a)This positive action is to be done just one time, within the next week. Take some time with this one. This contemplation is for you to explore, think about, and journal about, so you can come to completion with what has been hurtful or unresolved in your relationship with your mother.
The purpose is not to delve in-depth again into the painful history, but to see what the gold nuggets are that you have or can "mine" from that history.
Note: If this is something you have not done before, this may be a subject to explore for some time, beyond the time frame of this program and this one-time positive action. You may also want to bring this exploration to your private healing work with me or other practitioners you work with. For some of you, this may be a summary and recap..but always worth looking at. Here are the questions:
What is the truth, higher purpose or lesson that your mother provides or provided for you? What qualities have you developed in yourself as a result of that relationship? What did she teach you? Example: “My mother teaches me the importance of being loving and accepting of myself and others” “My mother teaches me the value of life and of treasuring each day”. She might have taught this by example or by an example of what NOT to do,be or say.
b)Things to Notice: During your interactions with people, and when you are alone, begin to notice whether your thoughts, attitudes and behaviors are loving to yourself. Is your self talk critical, or accepting and encouraging? How would you treat yourself differently if you could act like a very loving, attentive and and caring mother? Do you deflect or minimize praise and appreciation from others? How much more love, compliments, help, and other good stuff are you willing to take in from other people, and from yourself?
c)Action: Rampage of Appreciation…write down as many things about yourself that you enjoy and appreciate as you can, at least 6. Add to the list throughout the day.
Express out loud to someone else (or in writing) what you appreciate about them or something they did—2x per day. This one is to be done for the next 3 days..start when you read the notes.
d)Optional: Repeat Deservability Prayer daily for 7 days, best out loud, to another person or the mirror.
DESERVABILITY TREATMENT - a prayer from the Unity Church
I am deserving. I deserve all good. Not some, not a little bit, but all good. I now move past all negative restricting thoughts. I release and let go of the limitations of my parents. I love them and I go beyond them. I am not their negative opinion, not their limiting beliefs. I am not bound by any of the fears or prejudices of the current society I live in. I no longer identify with limitations of any kind.
In my mind I have total freedom. I now move into a new space of consciousness, where I am willing to see myself differently. I am willing to create new thoughts about myself and about my life. My new thinking becomes new experiences.
I now know and affirm that I am at one with the Prospering Power of the Universe. As such, I now prosper in a number of ways. The totality of possibilities lies before me. I deserve life, a good life. I deserve love, an abundance of love. I deserve good health. I deserve to live comfortably and to prosper. I deserve joy and happiness; I deserve freedom to be all that I can be. I deserve more than that. I deserve all good.
The Universe is more than willing to manifest my new beliefs. And I accept this abundant life with joy, pleasure and gratitude, for I am deserving. I accept it; I know it to be true.
And so it is.
Manifest Your Mate - Session 2 Notes - Feeling Deserving, Lovable & Worthy of being loved
Session 2 Overview and Details of session notes
Overview of Session:
With this topic, it is not surprising that our relationship with our mother was the focus. Our first experiences of bonding and parenting (whether with our biological mother or another caregiver) imprint us with our sense of safety, of being loved and wanted, of being connected. From this relationship our infant selves form a fundamental sense of whether we are loved, wanted, accepted and welcomed—or not.
When I re-read the session notes again after having completed the Parental Repatterning for repatterning our primary mother imprints, the numerous negative beliefs and concepts that we are resonating with in relationship to an intimate partner, make perfect sense in light of mothering that did not meet our basic needs. This is not to trash anyone’s mother—most of our mothers were doing the best they could with what they had—but simply to finally clear those old imprints and resonate with the kind of loving mothering energy that helps us feel loved and secure and so that we can attract, be at ease with, and actually receive love from healthy caring partners.
If you are a woman seeking a relationship with a man, then usually it is the case that our father issues will impact our choices and outcomes in relationships, but our primary experience of mothering (again whether it was from our actual birth mother or another primary caretiver)and early bonding will most profoundly determine how lovable we feel and our ability to feel safe and relax into love, as well as form nourishing supportive bonds in our lives with partners and others.
Detailed Session notes:
Problems/Issues:
The person I want doesn’t want me
I don’t believe the soulmate I intend to attract would perceive me as a match
I don’t truly feel worthy and able to sustain a long term relationship with someone I really love
Once my soulmate truly sees who I am, he will reject/leave/abandon me
There is no such thing as a truly healthy happy relationship so I might as well give up now
Even if/when I find my soulmate, it won’t last – s/he will die or leave; nothing good ever lasts
Intentions:
It is possible for me to be one of the blessed ones who finds their soulmate and enjoys happiness with him/her
I let go of unrealistic and ungrounded romantic ideals for the joys and pleasures of a growing, authentic intimate partnership
I let go of expecting the impossible from my soulmate/the opposite sex
I let go of either of us having to be perfect and celebrate our divine humanness
I know I am capable of having, worthy and deserving of an amazing, paradigm-shifting relationship
Repatterning: The Parental Repatterning
This repatterning helps transform our non-coherent (negative) patterns in relationship to, or in reaction to, our mothers.
What was the core issue in your relationship with your mother? My mother was unable to provide unconditional nurturing and soothing / My mother was not able to be fully present and bond with me at a heart and soul level
What qualities did you not like in your mother? My mother is critical, aloof, judgemental and unable to see me for who I am
Do you have any of these qualities? I am critical, judgemental of myself and unable to see myself clearly for who I am
What were the developmental needs that were not met or that were provided for negatively?
I force you to be at a different stage of development than you are actually at/I disrespect you/I put you down
What was the feeling response? I feel hurt, ashamed and want to escape
Beliefs that resulted:
I am always wrong / I can’t please anyone, especially the ones closest to me / I am useless
Trauma reflex: I overcompensate to avoide pain even though the original pain is no longer present
What is the % of non-coherent energy we have as a consequence of this imbalanced mother relationship? I have 94% non coherent frequency patterns in relation to my mother (this changed by the end of the session to 0% noncoherent).
As a result of this, I have 6% coherent energy available for…Feeling good about myself/Feeling lovable/Having a warm, open loving relationship with my partner/Sexual and emotional fulfillment (Shifted to 100% by the end of the session)
What is the compensation patterns we developed to make up for the lack of needs being provided?
I separate myself from others because my needs will never be met
I feel I must sympathize or agree with you because if I say the truth you’ll reject me
I am weak willed
Planetary frequency involved:
Mercury –non-coherent – I communicate ineffectively
I understand my mother treated me this way because she was not appropriately mothered herself and had distorted perceptions of what good mothering is.
Positive developmental mother messages we need to hear and resonate with:
You can trust me / I am always here for you
Self healing modalities:
Palming / Color lenses – green-visualize green in our hearts
There are several positive actions from this session, do them as you can!
They will be provided in a separate email.
Overview of Session:
With this topic, it is not surprising that our relationship with our mother was the focus. Our first experiences of bonding and parenting (whether with our biological mother or another caregiver) imprint us with our sense of safety, of being loved and wanted, of being connected. From this relationship our infant selves form a fundamental sense of whether we are loved, wanted, accepted and welcomed—or not.
When I re-read the session notes again after having completed the Parental Repatterning for repatterning our primary mother imprints, the numerous negative beliefs and concepts that we are resonating with in relationship to an intimate partner, make perfect sense in light of mothering that did not meet our basic needs. This is not to trash anyone’s mother—most of our mothers were doing the best they could with what they had—but simply to finally clear those old imprints and resonate with the kind of loving mothering energy that helps us feel loved and secure and so that we can attract, be at ease with, and actually receive love from healthy caring partners.
If you are a woman seeking a relationship with a man, then usually it is the case that our father issues will impact our choices and outcomes in relationships, but our primary experience of mothering (again whether it was from our actual birth mother or another primary caretiver)and early bonding will most profoundly determine how lovable we feel and our ability to feel safe and relax into love, as well as form nourishing supportive bonds in our lives with partners and others.
Detailed Session notes:
Problems/Issues:
The person I want doesn’t want me
I don’t believe the soulmate I intend to attract would perceive me as a match
I don’t truly feel worthy and able to sustain a long term relationship with someone I really love
Once my soulmate truly sees who I am, he will reject/leave/abandon me
There is no such thing as a truly healthy happy relationship so I might as well give up now
Even if/when I find my soulmate, it won’t last – s/he will die or leave; nothing good ever lasts
Intentions:
It is possible for me to be one of the blessed ones who finds their soulmate and enjoys happiness with him/her
I let go of unrealistic and ungrounded romantic ideals for the joys and pleasures of a growing, authentic intimate partnership
I let go of expecting the impossible from my soulmate/the opposite sex
I let go of either of us having to be perfect and celebrate our divine humanness
I know I am capable of having, worthy and deserving of an amazing, paradigm-shifting relationship
Repatterning: The Parental Repatterning
This repatterning helps transform our non-coherent (negative) patterns in relationship to, or in reaction to, our mothers.
What was the core issue in your relationship with your mother? My mother was unable to provide unconditional nurturing and soothing / My mother was not able to be fully present and bond with me at a heart and soul level
What qualities did you not like in your mother? My mother is critical, aloof, judgemental and unable to see me for who I am
Do you have any of these qualities? I am critical, judgemental of myself and unable to see myself clearly for who I am
What were the developmental needs that were not met or that were provided for negatively?
I force you to be at a different stage of development than you are actually at/I disrespect you/I put you down
What was the feeling response? I feel hurt, ashamed and want to escape
Beliefs that resulted:
I am always wrong / I can’t please anyone, especially the ones closest to me / I am useless
Trauma reflex: I overcompensate to avoide pain even though the original pain is no longer present
What is the % of non-coherent energy we have as a consequence of this imbalanced mother relationship? I have 94% non coherent frequency patterns in relation to my mother (this changed by the end of the session to 0% noncoherent).
As a result of this, I have 6% coherent energy available for…Feeling good about myself/Feeling lovable/Having a warm, open loving relationship with my partner/Sexual and emotional fulfillment (Shifted to 100% by the end of the session)
What is the compensation patterns we developed to make up for the lack of needs being provided?
I separate myself from others because my needs will never be met
I feel I must sympathize or agree with you because if I say the truth you’ll reject me
I am weak willed
Planetary frequency involved:
Mercury –non-coherent – I communicate ineffectively
I understand my mother treated me this way because she was not appropriately mothered herself and had distorted perceptions of what good mothering is.
Positive developmental mother messages we need to hear and resonate with:
You can trust me / I am always here for you
Self healing modalities:
Palming / Color lenses – green-visualize green in our hearts
There are several positive actions from this session, do them as you can!
They will be provided in a separate email.
Friday, July 8, 2011
Manifest Your Mate Session 1 Notes
Session 1, July 7: It’s Safe to Love – Overcoming Fear of Love and Intimacy
Issues/Problems:
Love never works out for me, so why bother?
Love is painful
Being in an intimate relationship is too confining
Being with a partner means giving up my selfhood and sovereignty
I hate being vulnerable / I can’t trust or depend on love
I disappear in relationships
I don’t trust when someone is good to me or expresses love and affection towards me
I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop
I never attract a suitable and available partner who truly wants to be with me
Negative feelings: Fear/Dread/Insecurity/Anxiety
I don’t listen to my inner guidance or body knowing about whether someone is good for me
I am in conflict between wanting love and pushing it away
I totally accept the present challenging situation (the current relationship I’m in, the type of man I’m meeting, or my lack of relationship) free of self-pity and anger
New Possibility Intention:
I recognize my fear of love as an outdated survival strategy and I release it with compassion.
I am willing to experiment with new ways of seeing and imagining love relationships.
I seek out inspiring and uplifting examples of successful relationships and declare “This, or something even better, that’s for me!”
Repatterning: Healing the Family System Part II – Repatterning for Receiving
This Repatterning addresses blockages and other kinds of non-coherence around receiving what we need, what is helpful, beneficial and nurturing for us. Some of the concepts in this Repatterning are based on the Family Constellation principles which I will explain in brief in italics, just after the statement. All statements or reference to content are direct quotes or derived from “Healing the Family System II” by Carin Block.
Intentions around Receiving:
I receive what benefits and nurtures me from my partner
Non-coherence around Receiving:
I intend for my partner to assume responsibility for my well -being and happiness.
[In Constellation thinking, this is non-coherent in that we are the ones who are responsible for our own well-being].
I deny my circumstances
[We can only really be at peace and open to receiving when we acknowledge and accept our current circumstances rather than fighting them]
Instead of taking my parents, I choose to ask my partner for what I need in solving my problems.
[“Taking our parents” is a Constellation principle which says we must accept, receive and acknowledge our connection to our parents and ancestors in order to have a happy, healthy life. It does NOT mean condoning or taking in their harmful or negative behaviors or energy].
I exclude my ancestors
[Similarly, we must include all of our ancestors, by acknowledging our blood, DNA and energetic connection to our lineage, whether we like who they were/what they did, or not]
I am intolerant and critical
My partner expects me to do what s/he tells me to do
Out of love for my parents, I fail at relationships
[This refers to the concept of systemic loyalty, where for the sake of belonging or being loyal to our family and “what we do in OUR family”, we may limit ourselves in some way]
Earlier experience related to blockages in receiving:
14 months old with our mother/caregiver
I experience alternating periods of smothering and neglect, making me confused and disoriented. I cannot trust her to be there when I need her and so love feels shaky to me.
Unmet needs: Rest/Sunlight/Freedom to express feelings/Ecstasy
Negative belief about love that resulted:
Love is erratic and undependable; I can’t trust it
Love comes and goes for no reason and I am helpless to stop it from leaving
Coherence around receiving:
I am in charge of my life
I accept that there are issues in which my partner cannot help me.
I face problems with wisdom and keep myself centered.
What I receive from my partner satisfies me
I perceive myself as part of my family system
I am loving and tolerant
My partner shares my joy and pain and respects my individuality
I am worthy and receive what benefits and nurtures me
Out of love for my parents I am successful at love
Modalities (from Healing the Family System):
Note: these have been recorded for you so you can listen and do these modalities yourself. That is optional, as the modalities have already been done for you by proxy.
#1: Empowering Statements: (Statements to be spoken/heard aloud)
Listen and follow along here:
http://tinyurl.com/4296w3p:
Imagine your father saying to you:
“I bless you to live in abundance and hold onto or grow your money”
“I give you a place in my heart”
Imagine now saying to your mother:
“Even if you leave, I stay in life”
“I give you a place in my heart”
“I accept and honor my destiny.”
#2: Fusing Symbols: The Adventurer
Here we “fuse” or integrate the energy of different archetypes or symbols. Again, this was recorded for you so you can do it yourself by listening to the recording, but it’s optional as this was done for you by proxy.
Listen here:
http://tinyurl.com/3hnvkzy:
Here are the directions:
“Close your eyes and relax. Create an image that symbolizes the Adventurer. You can imagine the Adventurer as a person, a light, a figure, a landscape, whatever you wish. S/he is naïve, inexperienced and candid. S/he embarks on his/her path without concerns, goes joyfully through life learning many things in order to evolve. S/he represents the void, the nothingness that appears at the beginning or end of the path, when wisdom is attained. S/he is nonchalant, spontaneous and enthusiastic. S/he looks for adventure and comes up with dazzling ideas. Sometimes s/he can go a little mad.”
Notice your image or sensation. Whatever you perceive is okay. Notice any details that make this more vivid and tangible for you.
Now, contact your heart, and say to the Adventurer, “now I see you and acknowledge what you are and what you represent: The Adventurer. You are naïve, inexperienced and candid. You embark on your path without concerns, you go joyfully through life and learn many things in order to evolve. You are the void, the nothingness that appears at the beginning and end of the path when wisdom is attained. You are nonchalant, spontaneous and enthusiastic. I now choose to take everything you give me, I am nourished by you and do something good with this. I give you a place in my heart and honor you.”
Now, take a bow or incline your head. This reverence represents honoring and accepting the Adventurer with everything s/he is and everything s/he gives you.
Finally do the open heart gesture (see below). Breathe in and fuse the Adventurer in your body, place him/her where you feel most comfortable. By doing so, you know have access to all the resources of the Adventurer and can use them for the greatest good.”
Open heart gesture: (The following is from Chloe Wordsworth’s Modalities book, paraphrased).
The open heart gesture is a movement that opens up the radiant energy field of the heart to giving/radiating and feeling/receiving love. According to Heart Math, this field can extend as much as 300 feet beyond and around the body! Stand up, and take some deep breaths. As you breathe, extend your arms out to either side as though you were embracing someone in a very wide hug. Feel yourself opening your heart wide to radiate and give love. Then, with another breath, bring your hands and arms in towards your own heart, receiving your own love and the love energy that is available to you from other people and Source. Go back and forth a few times, radiating love, then receiving it.
Doesn’t it feel great?
Positive Actions:
a)Action: Each morning, do the Open Heart Gesture 3x, as you do so imagine opening your heart up to radiate and receive love.
b)Things to Notice: Throughout the day, notice how open or closed you feel to express or receive love and affection, and as you become aware, come back to the open heart gesture. You may need to focus especially on opening your heart to yourself.
Issues/Problems:
Love never works out for me, so why bother?
Love is painful
Being in an intimate relationship is too confining
Being with a partner means giving up my selfhood and sovereignty
I hate being vulnerable / I can’t trust or depend on love
I disappear in relationships
I don’t trust when someone is good to me or expresses love and affection towards me
I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop
I never attract a suitable and available partner who truly wants to be with me
Negative feelings: Fear/Dread/Insecurity/Anxiety
I don’t listen to my inner guidance or body knowing about whether someone is good for me
I am in conflict between wanting love and pushing it away
I totally accept the present challenging situation (the current relationship I’m in, the type of man I’m meeting, or my lack of relationship) free of self-pity and anger
New Possibility Intention:
I recognize my fear of love as an outdated survival strategy and I release it with compassion.
I am willing to experiment with new ways of seeing and imagining love relationships.
I seek out inspiring and uplifting examples of successful relationships and declare “This, or something even better, that’s for me!”
Repatterning: Healing the Family System Part II – Repatterning for Receiving
This Repatterning addresses blockages and other kinds of non-coherence around receiving what we need, what is helpful, beneficial and nurturing for us. Some of the concepts in this Repatterning are based on the Family Constellation principles which I will explain in brief in italics, just after the statement. All statements or reference to content are direct quotes or derived from “Healing the Family System II” by Carin Block.
Intentions around Receiving:
I receive what benefits and nurtures me from my partner
Non-coherence around Receiving:
I intend for my partner to assume responsibility for my well -being and happiness.
[In Constellation thinking, this is non-coherent in that we are the ones who are responsible for our own well-being].
I deny my circumstances
[We can only really be at peace and open to receiving when we acknowledge and accept our current circumstances rather than fighting them]
Instead of taking my parents, I choose to ask my partner for what I need in solving my problems.
[“Taking our parents” is a Constellation principle which says we must accept, receive and acknowledge our connection to our parents and ancestors in order to have a happy, healthy life. It does NOT mean condoning or taking in their harmful or negative behaviors or energy].
I exclude my ancestors
[Similarly, we must include all of our ancestors, by acknowledging our blood, DNA and energetic connection to our lineage, whether we like who they were/what they did, or not]
I am intolerant and critical
My partner expects me to do what s/he tells me to do
Out of love for my parents, I fail at relationships
[This refers to the concept of systemic loyalty, where for the sake of belonging or being loyal to our family and “what we do in OUR family”, we may limit ourselves in some way]
Earlier experience related to blockages in receiving:
14 months old with our mother/caregiver
I experience alternating periods of smothering and neglect, making me confused and disoriented. I cannot trust her to be there when I need her and so love feels shaky to me.
Unmet needs: Rest/Sunlight/Freedom to express feelings/Ecstasy
Negative belief about love that resulted:
Love is erratic and undependable; I can’t trust it
Love comes and goes for no reason and I am helpless to stop it from leaving
Coherence around receiving:
I am in charge of my life
I accept that there are issues in which my partner cannot help me.
I face problems with wisdom and keep myself centered.
What I receive from my partner satisfies me
I perceive myself as part of my family system
I am loving and tolerant
My partner shares my joy and pain and respects my individuality
I am worthy and receive what benefits and nurtures me
Out of love for my parents I am successful at love
Modalities (from Healing the Family System):
Note: these have been recorded for you so you can listen and do these modalities yourself. That is optional, as the modalities have already been done for you by proxy.
#1: Empowering Statements: (Statements to be spoken/heard aloud)
Listen and follow along here:
http://tinyurl.com/4296w3p:
Imagine your father saying to you:
“I bless you to live in abundance and hold onto or grow your money”
“I give you a place in my heart”
Imagine now saying to your mother:
“Even if you leave, I stay in life”
“I give you a place in my heart”
“I accept and honor my destiny.”
#2: Fusing Symbols: The Adventurer
Here we “fuse” or integrate the energy of different archetypes or symbols. Again, this was recorded for you so you can do it yourself by listening to the recording, but it’s optional as this was done for you by proxy.
Listen here:
http://tinyurl.com/3hnvkzy:
Here are the directions:
“Close your eyes and relax. Create an image that symbolizes the Adventurer. You can imagine the Adventurer as a person, a light, a figure, a landscape, whatever you wish. S/he is naïve, inexperienced and candid. S/he embarks on his/her path without concerns, goes joyfully through life learning many things in order to evolve. S/he represents the void, the nothingness that appears at the beginning or end of the path, when wisdom is attained. S/he is nonchalant, spontaneous and enthusiastic. S/he looks for adventure and comes up with dazzling ideas. Sometimes s/he can go a little mad.”
Notice your image or sensation. Whatever you perceive is okay. Notice any details that make this more vivid and tangible for you.
Now, contact your heart, and say to the Adventurer, “now I see you and acknowledge what you are and what you represent: The Adventurer. You are naïve, inexperienced and candid. You embark on your path without concerns, you go joyfully through life and learn many things in order to evolve. You are the void, the nothingness that appears at the beginning and end of the path when wisdom is attained. You are nonchalant, spontaneous and enthusiastic. I now choose to take everything you give me, I am nourished by you and do something good with this. I give you a place in my heart and honor you.”
Now, take a bow or incline your head. This reverence represents honoring and accepting the Adventurer with everything s/he is and everything s/he gives you.
Finally do the open heart gesture (see below). Breathe in and fuse the Adventurer in your body, place him/her where you feel most comfortable. By doing so, you know have access to all the resources of the Adventurer and can use them for the greatest good.”
Open heart gesture: (The following is from Chloe Wordsworth’s Modalities book, paraphrased).
The open heart gesture is a movement that opens up the radiant energy field of the heart to giving/radiating and feeling/receiving love. According to Heart Math, this field can extend as much as 300 feet beyond and around the body! Stand up, and take some deep breaths. As you breathe, extend your arms out to either side as though you were embracing someone in a very wide hug. Feel yourself opening your heart wide to radiate and give love. Then, with another breath, bring your hands and arms in towards your own heart, receiving your own love and the love energy that is available to you from other people and Source. Go back and forth a few times, radiating love, then receiving it.
Doesn’t it feel great?
Positive Actions:
a)Action: Each morning, do the Open Heart Gesture 3x, as you do so imagine opening your heart up to radiate and receive love.
b)Things to Notice: Throughout the day, notice how open or closed you feel to express or receive love and affection, and as you become aware, come back to the open heart gesture. You may need to focus especially on opening your heart to yourself.
Manifest Your Mate: Session 1 Additional information
Our topic: It’s Safe to Love – Overcoming the fear of Love and Intimacy
This pattern is described quite thoroughly in Phyllis Light’s book, “Love Now, Here’s How”. The following are excerpted from her book.
Common Signs that you have this pattern:
Avoiding relationships/not wanting to get involved
Feeling abused/attracting abusive partners
Leaving relationships when they get too good
Feeling as if you’re going to die because you are in a loving relationship
Feeling as if you aren’t okay in others’ eyes, and therefore not allowing them to be nice, kind or loving to you
Avoiding or finding fault with someone who is interested in you
Pushing away a man/woman who loves you
Feeling as if you can’t have love here, and therefore you resist getting to know people who are kind and loving to you
Maintaining long distance relationships or relationships with unavailable partners
Not wanting to settle down with one person
Avoiding intimacy in relationships
Being unable to be intimate with your partner (or vice versa)
Creating superficial relationships
Being a bachelor or loner
How did this pattern come about and how does it tend to operate in your life?
This pattern clearly keeps relationships from working out for you. You might have a fear of love if the love you experienced as a child was mingled with threats to your safety in some way. For example, if your parents physically, mentally or emotionally abused you, and that was your first experience of love, understandably, you may fear love or prefer to live without it.
If your parents were overbearing, unreasonably demanding, or frequently made you do things you really didn’t want to do, you may have felt overburdened, overpowered, or suffocated by love. If such was the case, you are probably inclined to resist love in any form.
The problem is that because of your negative programming about love, you are convinced that love is to be avoided at all costs. You are not truly open to creating a loving relationship with another because you are so fearful of the consequences of being that close to someone again. Your early experiences with “loving” relationships taught you to stay away from them, as a way to ensure your survival and sanity.
With this pattern you also may avoid people who treat you kindly and lovingly, because you are so accustomed to being treated poorly by the ones who “loved” you as a child, and the positive attention is totally unfamiliar. You may find yourself choosing pain over pleasure again and again, because the mind always gravitates toward the familiar. Your “inner computer” is “wired” to continually attract the poor, neglectful, unloving, abusive or smothering treatment.
This pattern is described quite thoroughly in Phyllis Light’s book, “Love Now, Here’s How”. The following are excerpted from her book.
Common Signs that you have this pattern:
Avoiding relationships/not wanting to get involved
Feeling abused/attracting abusive partners
Leaving relationships when they get too good
Feeling as if you’re going to die because you are in a loving relationship
Feeling as if you aren’t okay in others’ eyes, and therefore not allowing them to be nice, kind or loving to you
Avoiding or finding fault with someone who is interested in you
Pushing away a man/woman who loves you
Feeling as if you can’t have love here, and therefore you resist getting to know people who are kind and loving to you
Maintaining long distance relationships or relationships with unavailable partners
Not wanting to settle down with one person
Avoiding intimacy in relationships
Being unable to be intimate with your partner (or vice versa)
Creating superficial relationships
Being a bachelor or loner
How did this pattern come about and how does it tend to operate in your life?
This pattern clearly keeps relationships from working out for you. You might have a fear of love if the love you experienced as a child was mingled with threats to your safety in some way. For example, if your parents physically, mentally or emotionally abused you, and that was your first experience of love, understandably, you may fear love or prefer to live without it.
If your parents were overbearing, unreasonably demanding, or frequently made you do things you really didn’t want to do, you may have felt overburdened, overpowered, or suffocated by love. If such was the case, you are probably inclined to resist love in any form.
The problem is that because of your negative programming about love, you are convinced that love is to be avoided at all costs. You are not truly open to creating a loving relationship with another because you are so fearful of the consequences of being that close to someone again. Your early experiences with “loving” relationships taught you to stay away from them, as a way to ensure your survival and sanity.
With this pattern you also may avoid people who treat you kindly and lovingly, because you are so accustomed to being treated poorly by the ones who “loved” you as a child, and the positive attention is totally unfamiliar. You may find yourself choosing pain over pleasure again and again, because the mind always gravitates toward the familiar. Your “inner computer” is “wired” to continually attract the poor, neglectful, unloving, abusive or smothering treatment.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Manifest Your Mate--juicy stuff ahead!
I hope you have already done your Attract Your Soulmate ritual..that is, if you are wanting to attract new love into your life, or shift your present relationship to a richer, happier and more fulfilling one!
Just scroll down to the blog post immediately before this one and you'll find the written directions.
Manifest Your Mate begins on July 7th, and as it approaches, I am fleshing out the program more. My friends, this is JUICY. I have been working with manifesting, and with manifesting relationships, for years and have a wealth of background and resources to share with you.
Based on my own knowledge, and using Dr. Phyllis Light's book "Love Now: Here's How--26 Roadblocks to Healthy Relationships" and inspired by "Calling in the One" by Katherine Woodward Thomas, here are the topics for the sessions--the goal first, followed by what we are clearing:
Session 1) It’s Safe to Love: Overcoming Fear of Love/Intimacy
Session 2) I Deserve Love: Feeling Lovable, Worthy and Deserving of Love
Session 3)Clearing Beliefs from Parents/Parents Marriage,
Session 4)Clearing Beliefs about Relationships, Romance, Marriage from the culture
Session 5)Embracing my authentic self: Fear of Being Dominated/Loss of Self
Session 6)Keeping my Power and Healthy Boundaries: Fear of Being Used/Manipulated
Session 7)Opening to Greater Trust and Surrender: Feeling out Of Control in Love
Here's a sample of the self-exploration work and positive actions that will be assigned: This is the assignment for Session 2, to give you a sample of the kinds of stuff we'll be doing in the program:
Positive Action: Receptivity to Love, Self Love and the “good stuff”
a)Things to Notice: During your interactions with people, and when you are alone, begin to notice whether your thoughts, attitudes and behaviors are loving to yourself. Is your self talk critical, or accepting and encouraging? How would you treat yourself differently if you could act like a very loving, attentive and and caring mother? Do you deflect or minimize praise and appreciation from others? How much more love, compliments, help, and other good stuff are you willing to take in from other people, and from yourself?
b)Action: Rampage of Appreciation…write down as many things about yourself that you enjoy and appreciate as you can, at least 6. Add to the list throughout the day. Express out loud to someone else (or in writing) what you appreciate about them or something they did—2x per day.
c)Optional Additional Action: Repeat Deservability Prayer daily for 7 days, best out loud, to another person or the mirror.
Doesn't it sound great? I'm so excited! Please register now and share this blogpost with others. Go to: http://www.repattern.com and tab over to Manifest Your Mate.
Happy manifesting y'all,
Ellen
Just scroll down to the blog post immediately before this one and you'll find the written directions.
Manifest Your Mate begins on July 7th, and as it approaches, I am fleshing out the program more. My friends, this is JUICY. I have been working with manifesting, and with manifesting relationships, for years and have a wealth of background and resources to share with you.
Based on my own knowledge, and using Dr. Phyllis Light's book "Love Now: Here's How--26 Roadblocks to Healthy Relationships" and inspired by "Calling in the One" by Katherine Woodward Thomas, here are the topics for the sessions--the goal first, followed by what we are clearing:
Session 1) It’s Safe to Love: Overcoming Fear of Love/Intimacy
Session 2) I Deserve Love: Feeling Lovable, Worthy and Deserving of Love
Session 3)Clearing Beliefs from Parents/Parents Marriage,
Session 4)Clearing Beliefs about Relationships, Romance, Marriage from the culture
Session 5)Embracing my authentic self: Fear of Being Dominated/Loss of Self
Session 6)Keeping my Power and Healthy Boundaries: Fear of Being Used/Manipulated
Session 7)Opening to Greater Trust and Surrender: Feeling out Of Control in Love
Here's a sample of the self-exploration work and positive actions that will be assigned: This is the assignment for Session 2, to give you a sample of the kinds of stuff we'll be doing in the program:
Positive Action: Receptivity to Love, Self Love and the “good stuff”
a)Things to Notice: During your interactions with people, and when you are alone, begin to notice whether your thoughts, attitudes and behaviors are loving to yourself. Is your self talk critical, or accepting and encouraging? How would you treat yourself differently if you could act like a very loving, attentive and and caring mother? Do you deflect or minimize praise and appreciation from others? How much more love, compliments, help, and other good stuff are you willing to take in from other people, and from yourself?
b)Action: Rampage of Appreciation…write down as many things about yourself that you enjoy and appreciate as you can, at least 6. Add to the list throughout the day. Express out loud to someone else (or in writing) what you appreciate about them or something they did—2x per day.
c)Optional Additional Action: Repeat Deservability Prayer daily for 7 days, best out loud, to another person or the mirror.
Doesn't it sound great? I'm so excited! Please register now and share this blogpost with others. Go to: http://www.repattern.com and tab over to Manifest Your Mate.
Happy manifesting y'all,
Ellen
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
