Manifest Your Mate Session 1 Notes

Session 1, July 7: It’s Safe to Love – Overcoming Fear of Love and Intimacy

Issues/Problems:
Love never works out for me, so why bother?
Love is painful
Being in an intimate relationship is too confining
Being with a partner means giving up my selfhood and sovereignty
I hate being vulnerable / I can’t trust or depend on love
I disappear in relationships
I don’t trust when someone is good to me or expresses love and affection towards me
I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop
I never attract a suitable and available partner who truly wants to be with me
Negative feelings: Fear/Dread/Insecurity/Anxiety
I don’t listen to my inner guidance or body knowing about whether someone is good for me
I am in conflict between wanting love and pushing it away
I totally accept the present challenging situation (the current relationship I’m in, the type of man I’m meeting, or my lack of relationship) free of self-pity and anger

New Possibility Intention:
I recognize my fear of love as an outdated survival strategy and I release it with compassion.
I am willing to experiment with new ways of seeing and imagining love relationships.
I seek out inspiring and uplifting examples of successful relationships and declare “This, or something even better, that’s for me!”

Repatterning: Healing the Family System Part II – Repatterning for Receiving
This Repatterning addresses blockages and other kinds of non-coherence around receiving what we need, what is helpful, beneficial and nurturing for us. Some of the concepts in this Repatterning are based on the Family Constellation principles which I will explain in brief in italics, just after the statement. All statements or reference to content are direct quotes or derived from “Healing the Family System II” by Carin Block.

Intentions around Receiving:

I receive what benefits and nurtures me from my partner

Non-coherence around Receiving:

I intend for my partner to assume responsibility for my well -being and happiness.
[In Constellation thinking, this is non-coherent in that we are the ones who are responsible for our own well-being].

I deny my circumstances
[We can only really be at peace and open to receiving when we acknowledge and accept our current circumstances rather than fighting them]

Instead of taking my parents, I choose to ask my partner for what I need in solving my problems.
[“Taking our parents” is a Constellation principle which says we must accept, receive and acknowledge our connection to our parents and ancestors in order to have a happy, healthy life. It does NOT mean condoning or taking in their harmful or negative behaviors or energy].

I exclude my ancestors
[Similarly, we must include all of our ancestors, by acknowledging our blood, DNA and energetic connection to our lineage, whether we like who they were/what they did, or not]

I am intolerant and critical

My partner expects me to do what s/he tells me to do

Out of love for my parents, I fail at relationships
[This refers to the concept of systemic loyalty, where for the sake of belonging or being loyal to our family and “what we do in OUR family”, we may limit ourselves in some way]

Earlier experience related to blockages in receiving:
14 months old with our mother/caregiver
I experience alternating periods of smothering and neglect, making me confused and disoriented. I cannot trust her to be there when I need her and so love feels shaky to me.

Unmet needs: Rest/Sunlight/Freedom to express feelings/Ecstasy

Negative belief about love that resulted:
Love is erratic and undependable; I can’t trust it
Love comes and goes for no reason and I am helpless to stop it from leaving

Coherence around receiving:
I am in charge of my life
I accept that there are issues in which my partner cannot help me.
I face problems with wisdom and keep myself centered.
What I receive from my partner satisfies me
I perceive myself as part of my family system
I am loving and tolerant
My partner shares my joy and pain and respects my individuality
I am worthy and receive what benefits and nurtures me
Out of love for my parents I am successful at love

Modalities (from Healing the Family System):

Note: these have been recorded for you so you can listen and do these modalities yourself. That is optional, as the modalities have already been done for you by proxy.
#1: Empowering Statements: (Statements to be spoken/heard aloud)
Listen and follow along here:
http://tinyurl.com/4296w3p:

Imagine your father saying to you:
“I bless you to live in abundance and hold onto or grow your money”
“I give you a place in my heart”
Imagine now saying to your mother:
“Even if you leave, I stay in life”
“I give you a place in my heart”
“I accept and honor my destiny.”

#2: Fusing Symbols: The Adventurer
Here we “fuse” or integrate the energy of different archetypes or symbols. Again, this was recorded for you so you can do it yourself by listening to the recording, but it’s optional as this was done for you by proxy.
Listen here:

http://tinyurl.com/3hnvkzy:

Here are the directions:
“Close your eyes and relax. Create an image that symbolizes the Adventurer. You can imagine the Adventurer as a person, a light, a figure, a landscape, whatever you wish. S/he is naïve, inexperienced and candid. S/he embarks on his/her path without concerns, goes joyfully through life learning many things in order to evolve. S/he represents the void, the nothingness that appears at the beginning or end of the path, when wisdom is attained. S/he is nonchalant, spontaneous and enthusiastic. S/he looks for adventure and comes up with dazzling ideas. Sometimes s/he can go a little mad.”

Notice your image or sensation. Whatever you perceive is okay. Notice any details that make this more vivid and tangible for you.

Now, contact your heart, and say to the Adventurer, “now I see you and acknowledge what you are and what you represent: The Adventurer. You are naïve, inexperienced and candid. You embark on your path without concerns, you go joyfully through life and learn many things in order to evolve. You are the void, the nothingness that appears at the beginning and end of the path when wisdom is attained. You are nonchalant, spontaneous and enthusiastic. I now choose to take everything you give me, I am nourished by you and do something good with this. I give you a place in my heart and honor you.”

Now, take a bow or incline your head. This reverence represents honoring and accepting the Adventurer with everything s/he is and everything s/he gives you.

Finally do the open heart gesture (see below). Breathe in and fuse the Adventurer in your body, place him/her where you feel most comfortable. By doing so, you know have access to all the resources of the Adventurer and can use them for the greatest good.”

Open heart gesture: (The following is from Chloe Wordsworth’s Modalities book, paraphrased).

The open heart gesture is a movement that opens up the radiant energy field of the heart to giving/radiating and feeling/receiving love. According to Heart Math, this field can extend as much as 300 feet beyond and around the body! Stand up, and take some deep breaths. As you breathe, extend your arms out to either side as though you were embracing someone in a very wide hug. Feel yourself opening your heart wide to radiate and give love. Then, with another breath, bring your hands and arms in towards your own heart, receiving your own love and the love energy that is available to you from other people and Source. Go back and forth a few times, radiating love, then receiving it.

Doesn’t it feel great?

Positive Actions:
a)Action: Each morning, do the Open Heart Gesture 3x, as you do so imagine opening your heart up to radiate and receive love.

b)Things to Notice: Throughout the day, notice how open or closed you feel to express or receive love and affection, and as you become aware, come back to the open heart gesture. You may need to focus especially on opening your heart to yourself.