Manifest Your Mate Session 3: Clearing Negative Beliefs/Examples from Our Parent’s Marriage
Intentions:
I discriminate between what is useful and positive from my parents’ example and what is de-energizing, outmoded and inappropriate. I chose that which is inspiring and life affirming.
I recognize that much of what my parents taught me is not appropriate for current day relationships and I open to a new paradigm for intimate relationship.
I am free to redefine and choose, in co-creation with my partner, the forms and patterns of relating that work for each of us, now.
Compensation Repatterning:
This Repatterning addresses compensation patterns that we developed, usually in childhood, to compensate or make up for the lack of love or positive attention that we experienced.
Compensation: Niceness
(non-coherent) Who I am is unacceptable
(coherent) People like and accept me when I am honest and genuinely myself with them
Compensation: Insecurity
(non-coherent) I have to hold onto my father’s attention/a man’s attention so he won’t leave me
(coherent) I feel secure even when there is silence in a conversation
Water Element Repatterning
This is one of the Relationship Repatternings and addresses imbalances in the water element. When our water element is out of balance we may be stuck, frozen, fearful and unable to access our own power and energy reserves.
What stops me from having the relationship I want is:
Believing I want too much/believing what I want doesn’t exist/ believing I can’t have what I want/ Negative expectations of relationships based on the past
I am afraid of being loved/commitment/not being worthy/disaster/metal
Non-coherent qualities of the water element blocking us:
I lack the energy to commit to what I want
I have low energy relationships based on control issues
Non-coherent earlier experience:
Age: 28 months/ involved parents/Something traumatic happens to one of my parents, or between them/big emotional shock in the family/I am not comforted or reassured
Feeling: Terrified
Unmet needs: Love bonding/Being heard/Self expression
Beliefs that resulted: I have to be good/I have to be quiet/I have to clamp down my feelings
Body position reflecting this: Hunched over, hands on belly, protecting belly
Feeling: Fear, dread
What is the new thing you can tell yourself about relationships?
I am open to new, fulfilling possibilities in relationship that far surpass my parents’ example or even my own past relationship history
Body position reflecting this: Open hearted, warrior stance
I live and relate from the power of my essence
Feelings: Optimistic/Encouraged
Acupuncture points done for you: Lg Intestine 11 (right side) while affirming “I joyfully release the past”
Relationship Modality for Water: Receiving Reassurance
From the Divine Mother: “You are perfect. I love you just as you are.”
From the Divine Father: “You are my beloved. I cherish and care for you always.”
Positive Actions:
This positive action is to be completed within the next week if possible. If you are overwhelmed or still working on previous positive actions, check in with yourself about doing this one now. What do you sense or feel intuitively, or in your gut about this one…I encourage you to follow that, and I can also test for you if you can’t get clear, as to whether these actions should be done now or later. I am testing that this particular set of positive actions may also be completed at the end of the 7 session series.
Step 1—this was previously provided, so if you’ve done it, move on to step 2. If not, go ahead now...
If you have photos of your parents, or if they are alive, just imagine them in your mind’s eye. What do you imagine were or are their beliefs about marriage and about the relationships between the sexes? What don’t you like, what upsets you, about how they related? What promises, vows or commitments did you make to yourself about relationships or marriage from being around your parent’s relationship?
Step 2: Ritual release: based on your explorations above, write down on small pieces of paper, what you want to release about your parent’s marriage. Then, when you are ready and in a ritual “space”, read these things out loud, and declare:
I now joyfully and completely release these beliefs, any pain or trauma these beliefs have caused, from my system, knowing they no longer serve me.
Continue with your ritual release by burning the pieces of paper safely, (Common sense: make sure anything you use to handle the fire won’t get too hot for you, and that you are not in a windy place or where the burning paper could fly off and start a fire, make sure there is ventilation, and that you’re away from flammables, smoke alarms, etc.). If this is not safe to do, or not feasible, you can tear the papers into small pieces and release them into the ocean or flush them away.
Things to Notice: As you complete the ritual, take a pause to notice. Breathe, relax your body and notice your sensations. Is there a sense of more relaxation, peace, safety, lightness and letting go? Take a pause to savor and enjoy, knowing you have made room for the new!
c)Optional additional positive action:
Is there anything positive that you have learned from your parents' example, or that your parents modeled, that you would like to keep and even build further on? What is their positive relationship legacy to you?
Session is complete.
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