Probably not—but in the name of being polite or “nice”, you may be acting like you do. Certain automatic habits, like constantly apologizing, shrink your presence and energy field unnecessarily. Women are especially trained to apologize almost constantly, but we are all subject to this sorry epidemic.
I noticed this in two incidents this weekend. First, standing around my kitchen at home, my guest kept apologizing for being in my way, making dirty dishes, etc. Finally I said, “why are you sorry? All you’re doing is being here..and you are welcome in my kitchen.. no need to apologize."
Even more blatantly, last night, at a friend’s house, another guest needed to use the sink which I happened to be leaning against. He said, “I’m sorry but I need to get in there.”
Again, I asked “why are you saying sorry? It’s okay to need something. All you needed to do was say excuse me."
Even the phrase "excuse me" is self effacing.
It’s this reflex of apologizing…for asking someone else to move, to do something for you, for “being in the way"..I think it trains us to put ourselves down or act like what we should be is invisible.
Does being polite mean apologizing for our existence?
We are trained to put others first, but do we have to cut ourselves out of the picture altogether with our “don’t mind me, I’m just trying to exist in as small a box as possible” apology habit?
What do you think?
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